急需 新白娘子传奇的英语剧本，要搞笑点，三个人，法海，许仙和白素贞。可以短点，但中文英文都要，急啊。
《630版新白娘子传奇》剧本
旁白：long long ago, a moving story happened here ,it’s about love ,life, and fun
（音乐起，千年等一回）齐唱：
waiting 1000 years
1000 years for a chance
Waiting 1000 years
I have no regret
Who said this to me
That love me forever
Only for your words
A~I won’t be regretful
Rain heart broke wind is crying
Sweety love seems to fall
West lake likes my tear
I would like to be fire with you
A~
Waiting 1000 years 1000 years for a chance
Waiting 1000 years I have no regret
Waiting 1000 years 1000 years for a chance
Waiting 1000 years…
1000（音乐，幻化人形）
第一幕：断桥上
旁白：the snake white and snake green became into human beings through magic power
青：“sister, is this the world of human being ? how beautiful! ”
白：“be careful , follow me!”
（闪电，下雨……）
青：“what heavy rain !”
白：“don’t worry, we have an umbrella.”
白素贞与许仙相遇……
许：“oh, my god! ”
白：“so handsome …Mr，your cloth is wet , now I have an umbrella, let us share one . ”
许：“oh, thank you, loving girl. What good weather, would you like to walk with me ? ”
白：“ok, let’s go.”
青：“sister, sister, let’s go together. ”
白：“don’t you see I’m busy ? go!”
(强盗出现)
强盗一：“the tree I planted ”
强盗二：“planted!”
强盗一：“the way I opened”
强盗二：“opened!”
强盗一：“if you want to pass the way ,”
一、二：“money.”
白：“I’m so frightened.”
许：“don’t be afraid , look at me .”
………………
白：“mr xu ,you are so smart, you saved me , you are my hero! Can, can I marry you?”
许：“oh，let’s go home. niangzi”
白：“ok.”
（二人离去）
青：“sister, sister!”
第二幕:
旁白：from then on ，miss white miss green and xuxian lived a happy life until suddenly one day ，miss green heard that the monk fahai would come.
青：“sister, what are you doing here?”
白：“xuxian hadn’t wake up , I’m thinking about our future.”
青：“I’ve known that fahai is coming here ”
白：“oh ,look, the scenery is beautiful ,if only…”
（音乐起，紧张）
法海出现
法海：“evil spirits! today, I’ll subdue you ! lady white, you have no chance to escape!”
白：“go, I’ll hit him .”(面向青)
青：“sister, don’t do it.”
白：“keep back ,don’t come any closer!”
青：“come on ,just give me your hand.”
（二人伸出手，音乐起，悲情）
旁白：fahai was about to tame miss white ,miss green was feeling anxious.
青：“odukei I’m not his competitor, I must go away , otherwise , who can save my sister?”
第三幕：（音乐起，赵雅芝中文网）
许仙：“I have a dream that one I can get a mba degree in harward , I have a dream ,that one I could get married with yisheng …I have a dream … ”
青：“xu, xuxian”
许仙：“oh, you look beautiful today ,what can I do for you ?”(抓住小青的手)
青（挣脱）：“terrible, so terrible ,my sister was caught by a monk.. get it? ”
许：“oh, what? where is her?”
青：“follow me ,quickly!”
第四幕：
许仙：“fahai，come out!”
法海：“who’s calling me? Today’s young men is more and more impolite!”
许仙：“fuck，give my wife back”
法海：“emituofo，shanzaishanzai，your wife is a monster ”
许仙：“fuck，who’s monster? I only know , suzhen is my wife .”
法海：“ok I will show you her nature”
（法海从包里拿出照妖镜，对准白素贞，白蛇倒下）
（神雕侠侣音乐起）
许仙：“are you really a monster？”
白：“yes，I had cheated you ，I’m a monster.”
周围：“kill her kill her”
许仙：“shut up！”“yes, she is a monster ,she should be killed, but as her husband ,how can I
Live without her ,no matter you are human being or a monster, I’ll love you forever. ”
白：“xianggong”
许仙：“niangzi”
法海：“go to die！”
（两人拉手，难舍难分，音乐起，泰坦尼克）
白蛇显出原形，法海用钵盂收走
许仙：“oh, my love ,my love.”“I’ll save her no matter how hard it is !”
第五幕：
旁白：miss white was taken by fahai，in the leifeng tower ，miss white telephoned her huaband outside
白：“honey，the tower is so hard that you can’t get in ”
许仙：“don’t be afraid， my dear ，we’ll come soon.but I don’t know how to do？”
白：“oh，I know，we can turn guanyin Buddha for help。”
许仙：“oh， get it，I’ll go to nanhai now，waiting me，wife！”
旁白：as soon as xuxian heard it，he hurried went to nanhai
许仙遇见观音：“guanyin buddha ，you are so beautiful today ”
观音：“oh，really？”
许仙：“of cause，you are the most beautiful lady I have seen”
观音：“well，tell me what’s up？”
许仙：“my wife was caught by a bad monk ，now she is arrested in leifeng tower”
观音：“oh，I have known it ，but you know a monster isn’t allowed to marry human being ，so she should be punished”
许仙：“whywhy is that？I’d rather it’s me be punished，guanyin Buddha ，just let me replace her ”
观音：“though I couldn’t help you，you can turn the famous terrorist for help，emituofo，shanzaishanzai”(转身离开)
许仙：“terroristwhere to find one？”
观音忽然回头：“forgot to tell you，benladeng is wanted by American government ，so，now he is hiding in china…”
许仙：“oh yeah ，great！”
旁白：after searching for several days ，xuxian got the news that benladeng is in tianjin foreign studies university
许仙：“hi，brother，I caught some trouble，can you help me？”
本拉登：“is it the tower？I have heard of that from my guys，easy，but，why do i help you？”
许仙：“well，I have a sister called little qing ,who is famous for her beauty in china ,if you help me…”
本拉登：“great，hurry up，don’t waste time！”
（炸弹声响起，白蛇获救）
白：“xianggong”
许仙：“niangzi”“let me introduce ，this is mr benladeng”
白：“thank you for helping me”
本拉登：“a piece of cake ，I’m good at it！”
青跑过来抱住白：“sister！I have never thought we could meet again ”
本拉登：“a！！”小青也惊叹…
*******
白：“what’s wrong？”
许仙：“it’s love”
白：“let’s go together”
青：“don’t you see i’m busy now？”
（二人走，谢幕）