ohmydad

1.VirtueManyyearsafterreceivingmygraduatedegree,IreturnedtotheStateUniversityofNewYorkatBinghamtonasafacultymember.Onedayinacrowdedelevator,someoneremarkedonitsinefficiency.Isaidtheelevatorshadnotchangedinthe20yearssinceIbeganthereasastudent.Whenthedoorfinallyopened,Ifeltacompassionatepatonmyback,andturnedtoseeanelderlynunsmilingatme."You'llgetthatdegree,dear,"shewhispered."Perseveranceisavirtue."美德获取研究生学位多年以后，我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。一天，电梯里特别拥挤，有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起，20年来电梯一直没有欢?引。最后当电梯门打开时，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的，亲爱的，”她低声说道：“坚持不懈是一种美德。”2.Difference"Icanalwaystellagraduateclassfromanundergraduateclass,"observedtheinstructorinoneofmygraduateengineeringcoursesatCaliforniaStateUniversityinLosAngeles."WhenIsay,'Goodafternoon,'theundergradu二年级英语教学计划atesrespond,'Goodafternoon."Butthegraduatestudentsjustwriteitdown."区别“研究生班和本科生特别容易就能差别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们解答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”3.TooLongThetraveleditorofanewspapercalled,sayingshewasfinallyusinganarticleIhadwrittenseveralyearsearlier.Shewantedtobesurethetourinformationwasstillcorrect."Ialsowantedtomakecertain,"shesheepishlyconfessed,"thatyou'restillalive.Wheneverthewriterhasdied,IknowI'veheldastorytoolong."太久一家报纸的旅行版编辑打开联系电话，说她终于决定要采用一篇我几年前写的文章。她想确定那旅游信息是不是而且可靠。“我而且想确定，”她怯怯地坦白道：“您是不是而且健在。每次发现作者已经不在人世了，我才知道我将文章压得太久了。”4.ChargeforBreadandButterSomeyearsago,mydad,anattorney,tookmetoafancyrestaurantinNowYorkCity.Whenthebillarrived,therewasa$1.50chargeforbreadandbutter.Dadpaidthebill,includingthechargeforbreadandbutter.However,thenextd英语笑话及中文翻译ay,hesentalettertotheresturantstatingthatthechargewasuncalledfor.Enclosedinthesameenvelopewasabillfor$500inlegalservices.Someonefromtherestaurantcalledimmediatelyandasked,"Whatisthis$500billforWe英语笑话故事带翻译neverorderedanylegalservices."Dadreplied,"Ineverorderedanybreadandbutter."The$1.50wasreturnedwithoutdelay.面包和黄油费几年前，我当律师的爸爸带我去纽约的一家高档餐馆。帐单上来时，上面有1.5美元的面包和黄油费。爸爸付了帐，连同面包和黄油的收费一齐付了。但是第二天，他给餐馆寄了一封信，说那项收费是没有道理的。随信而且寄上了一张500美元的法律服务机构的收费单。餐馆马上打来联系电话，问道：“这500美元的收费单是如何回事？我们从来没有要啥法律机构的服务。”爸爸答道，“我也从来没有要啥面包和黄油。”那1.5美元立即就寄了回来。5.SleepingPillsBobwashavingtroublegettingtosleep英语幽默小笑话atnight.Hewenttoseehisdoctor,whoprescribedsomeextra-strongsleepingpills.SundaynightBobtookthepills,sleptwellandwasawakebeforeheheardthealarm.Hetookhistimegettingtotheoffice,strolledinandsaidtohisbos幽默笑话大全s:"Ididn'thaveabitoftroublegettingupthismorning.""That'sfine,"roaredtheboss,"butwherewereyouMondayandTuesday"安眠药鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看大夫，大夫给他开了一些强力安眠药。星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得特别好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？”英文谚语大全Eachbirdlovestohearhimselfsing.鸟儿都爱听自己唱歌。Eachdaybringsitsownbread.天无绝人之路。Eachmanisthearchitectofhisownfate.命运掌握在自己手中。Eaglescatchnoflies.大人物不计较小事情。Eaglesflyalone,butsheepflocktogether.鹰单飞，羊群集。Earlymistakesaretheseedsoffuturetrouble.早期的错误可以酿成日后的麻烦。Earlysow,earlymow.播种早的收获早。Earlystartmakeseasystages.早开始是成功的保证。Earlytobedandearlytorisemakeamanhealthy,wealthyandwis小学英语笑话带翻译e.早睡早起，令人健康、富有还聪明。